Possibly my least favourite childcare task is managing whose turn it is to have the best thing this time.
This could be made worse by the fact that I have three girls, the elder two who are in some kind of fight to the death contest for the pinkest, frilliest, girliest objects in the world.
I really try to buy multiples of things to avoid fights but it never works out. It's like the odd sock rule. Nothing ever pairs up as it comes out of the dishwasher.
This principle is at it's worst when it comes to cups. If you want to get my girls a drink you need to remember the rules at all times.
1. Character cups trump plain colored cups.
2. Girlie characters (princesses, ponies etc.) trump boyish characters (toy story, cars etc) UNLESS we have just watched Toy Story, then those cups will beat the girlie ones - for THAT DAY ONLY.
3. There is a hierarchy of girlie characters. Disney princesses beat Dora who beats My Little Ponies who beat generic girlie icons.
4. Plain colored cups also have a hierarchy, which is in descending order:
- pink
- purple
- red
- orange
- blue
- yellow
- green
5. Bunnykins cups are only permitted when all other cups are in the dishwasher.
5a.There are 4 bunnykins cups. 3 match, one is different. It has the highest value.
6. Categories can NEVER be mixed. For example, it's forbidden to give out a character cup and a plain colored cup
7. The girl who had the highest ranking cup last time, gets the lower ranking cup this time.
Got all that? Right. Once everyone has a drink, then you can start with snacks.
Showing posts with label parenthood. Show all posts
Showing posts with label parenthood. Show all posts
Monday, 25 July 2011
Wednesday, 15 June 2011
3 Princesses
One of the reasons I wanted to start this blog was because I have 3 girls and I wanted to celebrate it. When we announced that we were having a third little princess, some of the reactions we got were, well, less than enthusiastic. Everything from "Oh Well, to "Never mind," to "Oh no! Now you'll have to have four". The next question was always "Are you going to keep trying for a boy?" Um, no.
Look, I'm sure I would have loved a boy as well, if that's what we ended up with, but we really had no gender preference at all. I want my girls to know that we think girls are awesome and a family of all girls is awesome. So here's some of the things I love about having 3 daughters:
1. The clothes. Girls clothes are a massive amount of fun. Everything from their pj'sto their dress-ups. Miss Jade and Miss Rose are already unapologetically girly. Both are currently going through a phase of pants refusal. Dresses and skirts only thanks very much mum. It already amazes me how much getting dressed or dressed up is a creative process for them. They love trying on different colours, shapes, sizes and we can easily while away a whole afternoon on trying things on and being a "fashion girl", parading around in them. I try to let them choose their own clothes as much as I can, and even though the results are sometimes a little left of centre, they really are so proud of how they look.
2. Sisterly love. The girls are so loving and caring towards one another*. They love playing Mum and Baby roles and looking after each other. Unfortunately they also use this power for evil by ganging up on me. eg by both jumping on the lounge when they know I can't get both of them off at once. Also the way they look after Miss Grace just melts my heart. I often find all three of them just laying on the floor together pretending to be tucked up in bed under a blanket. I secretly hope they will be each others' bridesmaids and best friends when they grow up.
3. Concerts. Already at 2 and 4, the big girls love to put on a concert. They love to dress up and plan it. They love dancing around and showing us their tricks. They love when we clap the beautiful dancing girls. Then they love to repeat it. Again, and again and again. And again and again.
4. Talking. Girls love to talk and talk and talk. They tell stories, they tell you about how they feel, what they want to do tomorrow, who they want to marry when they grow up (At this stage it's Daddy, but I can live with that for now), what happened at preschool, what they dreamed about last night, what their imaginary friends are up to, and what their favourite colour is. My girls also love to talk on the phone when they are in the mood, and it gives me a giggle to hear Mr MITB or Granny and Grandad trying to get them off the line politely when they are in a hurry.
5. I'm a girl too, and it's a great thing to have in common. My girls like lots of the things I like (it was a glorious moment the first time we outvoted Mr MITB to watch a reality show about weddings), they like doing girlie things with me and want to be like me. Being not a particularly girlie girl myself this took me a bit by suprise, but oh boy it has grown on me. It's so much fun to go for a babycino and do a spot of shopping, especially with Miss Jade who is old enough to really appreciate it.
Girls are also complex and intense and serious and funny. Sometimes I joke with my friends with daughters that they are high maintenance, and that we will have our work cut out for us in the teenage years, but I would really not have it any other way. At the very least I figure that girls are more likely to remember my birthday and take me to my Doctor's appointments when I'm old. So here's to my beautiful girls. Because girls are amazing. I love you to the moon and the sun and the stars and the trees and back. xxx
* Of course they do still yell,scream, pull hair and have turf wars over the prized baby doll of the week, but also lots of loving and caring.
Look, I'm sure I would have loved a boy as well, if that's what we ended up with, but we really had no gender preference at all. I want my girls to know that we think girls are awesome and a family of all girls is awesome. So here's some of the things I love about having 3 daughters:
1. The clothes. Girls clothes are a massive amount of fun. Everything from their pj'sto their dress-ups. Miss Jade and Miss Rose are already unapologetically girly. Both are currently going through a phase of pants refusal. Dresses and skirts only thanks very much mum. It already amazes me how much getting dressed or dressed up is a creative process for them. They love trying on different colours, shapes, sizes and we can easily while away a whole afternoon on trying things on and being a "fashion girl", parading around in them. I try to let them choose their own clothes as much as I can, and even though the results are sometimes a little left of centre, they really are so proud of how they look.
2. Sisterly love. The girls are so loving and caring towards one another*. They love playing Mum and Baby roles and looking after each other. Unfortunately they also use this power for evil by ganging up on me. eg by both jumping on the lounge when they know I can't get both of them off at once. Also the way they look after Miss Grace just melts my heart. I often find all three of them just laying on the floor together pretending to be tucked up in bed under a blanket. I secretly hope they will be each others' bridesmaids and best friends when they grow up.
3. Concerts. Already at 2 and 4, the big girls love to put on a concert. They love to dress up and plan it. They love dancing around and showing us their tricks. They love when we clap the beautiful dancing girls. Then they love to repeat it. Again, and again and again. And again and again.
4. Talking. Girls love to talk and talk and talk. They tell stories, they tell you about how they feel, what they want to do tomorrow, who they want to marry when they grow up (At this stage it's Daddy, but I can live with that for now), what happened at preschool, what they dreamed about last night, what their imaginary friends are up to, and what their favourite colour is. My girls also love to talk on the phone when they are in the mood, and it gives me a giggle to hear Mr MITB or Granny and Grandad trying to get them off the line politely when they are in a hurry.
5. I'm a girl too, and it's a great thing to have in common. My girls like lots of the things I like (it was a glorious moment the first time we outvoted Mr MITB to watch a reality show about weddings), they like doing girlie things with me and want to be like me. Being not a particularly girlie girl myself this took me a bit by suprise, but oh boy it has grown on me. It's so much fun to go for a babycino and do a spot of shopping, especially with Miss Jade who is old enough to really appreciate it.
Girls are also complex and intense and serious and funny. Sometimes I joke with my friends with daughters that they are high maintenance, and that we will have our work cut out for us in the teenage years, but I would really not have it any other way. At the very least I figure that girls are more likely to remember my birthday and take me to my Doctor's appointments when I'm old. So here's to my beautiful girls. Because girls are amazing. I love you to the moon and the sun and the stars and the trees and back. xxx
* Of course they do still yell,scream, pull hair and have turf wars over the prized baby doll of the week, but also lots of loving and caring.
Friday, 6 May 2011
Fatherguilt
In my sometimes paid sometimes job I have noticed a phenomenon since I became a Mum.
As a corporate trainer one of the topics I facilitate is about internal dialogue (or your inner voice, self talk, or whatever the current catchphrase is.) One of the activities we ask people to do is share an activity that produces really positive internal dialogue for them, something they do well, or that gives them a sense of achievement. Eg Completing a run, playing a musical instrument well, etc.
One day I asked the standard question and a man in the room put up his hand and said “ I am a really great Dad”.
Had I heard correctly? For one thing, I had pegged this guy as a stoner. For another he was in a training room with me so therefore clearly not a stay-at-home Dad who has decided to shun tradition to homeschool his children, teach them five languages and lovingly make three organic meals a day for his offspring. Even more shocking , men in the room started to nod in agreement. What was this? And then it continued Every. Time. I. Ran. This. Course. All kinds of Dads - Married men, divorced men, men who quite frankly seemed to be surprised they had managed to make it to work at all – coming out in a public forum and saying they were great Dads.
And what really bothered me about this is that you would NEVER get women saying they were great Mums in this scenario. For one thing, they would be too busy worrying that the school lunches they had packed might have not enough fruit but too much yoghurt, and is this turning their children into sugar addicts? And have they ruined their kids chances on the social ladder by choosing the wrong birthday party to attend when there’s a calendar clash? And will little Bella be scarred for life by not being allowed to have a Bratz doll? And what will the other Mums say because they have missed canteen duty again this month? And.... oh, well you see where this is going.
Most of all though, Mums would not out themselves like this because it would open them up to judgement from other mothers. Other Mums would then be entitled to say, “She’s not a great mum, her 4 year old won’t even poo on the toilet” “She didn’t even breastfeed” “She works fulltime, she doesn’t even see her kids” “She doesn’t even work, what kind of example is that setting”, And on it goes.
So it dawned on me. These Dads weren’t judging each other. They thought they were great Dads because they loved their kids. They were showing up and giving it a go. They didn’t feel guilty because they were doing the best job they could. They didn't have fatherguilt.
We Mums could learn something from this, I’m sure. We could be less judgemental of other mums and so much less judgemental of ourselves. We are great Mums because we love our kids and we should be able to say it out loud.
Here’s hoping, I know I’m not quite there yet. I mean, I’m not even working at the moment and I’ve still got two kids in daycare today, and I’m writing a blog instead of enriching the baby’s cognitive experiences and.....
Tuesday, 3 May 2011
Myths Exposed! 4 Things That Do Not Prepare You For Parenthood
My little bro has just announced he's having a baby. Well, not him obviously, his partner I mean, and I am ridiculously excited. Not only because I am about to be an Auntie again, but also because of the fabulous opportunity it presents to start doling out unsolicited advice. So here's where I'm going to start. Although maybe this should be termed Anti-Advice. The six things that do not prepare you for parenthood, even though you probably thought they would. Catchy, isn't it?
1. Changing Nappies
For some unfathomable reason, the ability to change a nappy seems like the cornerstone of parenthood before you have children ie "I don't know how he'll go, he's NEVER EVEN changed a nappy." Look, let's face it, you will be changing a lot of nappies. It's a skill you have to have. But no matter how good you are at changing nappies before you have kids (BK), it's a task that will pale into insignificance compared to constant rocking, wrapping, patting and worrying that your child will grow up to have serious psychological issues because you fed them at the wrong time.
2. Babysitting
This includes all forms of working in childcare, having godchildren or much younger siblings you helped with. There is nothing like the overwhelming feeling of being completely and totally responsible for another human being. It's just not the same with kids that you get to hand back. A family friend of ours ran the baby room of a childcare centre and was sure she was ready for kids. When Mum visited her post-baby she answered the door in her pjs, breakfast dishes undone and baby screaming in the background. It was 3pm.
3. Pet Ownership
Look, at the risk of offending the owners of cats or small dogs, pets ARE NOT people. Pretty much the hardest work you will have to do with a pet is organize Someone else to look after them while you are on holidays. Not quite so easy with kids. For one thing, it's a bit more pressure on people to find a similar looking replacement child if they disappear while you are on your mini-break, so there are a lot less volunteers.
4. Staying Up All Night
"How bad can this sleep deprivation thing be?" you ask "i've stayed up all night before and it wasn't that bad." That may be true, but after that night did you sling your party shoes over your shoulder and skip merrily home to "catch up on sleep"? Well, did you? And then the next night, did you go back to your normal, uninterrupted sleep? Well? Well? Well? Ahem. Sorry, it's just that I haven't had a full night's sleep for 730 days. Just saying.
So what can prepare you for parenthood? The short answer is, nothing. No one can tell you how hard and how amazing it is going to be. So I am just telling my little bro to take all the opportunities he can to eat out, go to the movies and oh yes, sleep before December rolls around. Congratulations little bro !!!!
1. Changing Nappies
For some unfathomable reason, the ability to change a nappy seems like the cornerstone of parenthood before you have children ie "I don't know how he'll go, he's NEVER EVEN changed a nappy." Look, let's face it, you will be changing a lot of nappies. It's a skill you have to have. But no matter how good you are at changing nappies before you have kids (BK), it's a task that will pale into insignificance compared to constant rocking, wrapping, patting and worrying that your child will grow up to have serious psychological issues because you fed them at the wrong time.
2. Babysitting
This includes all forms of working in childcare, having godchildren or much younger siblings you helped with. There is nothing like the overwhelming feeling of being completely and totally responsible for another human being. It's just not the same with kids that you get to hand back. A family friend of ours ran the baby room of a childcare centre and was sure she was ready for kids. When Mum visited her post-baby she answered the door in her pjs, breakfast dishes undone and baby screaming in the background. It was 3pm.
3. Pet Ownership
Look, at the risk of offending the owners of cats or small dogs, pets ARE NOT people. Pretty much the hardest work you will have to do with a pet is organize Someone else to look after them while you are on holidays. Not quite so easy with kids. For one thing, it's a bit more pressure on people to find a similar looking replacement child if they disappear while you are on your mini-break, so there are a lot less volunteers.
4. Staying Up All Night
"How bad can this sleep deprivation thing be?" you ask "i've stayed up all night before and it wasn't that bad." That may be true, but after that night did you sling your party shoes over your shoulder and skip merrily home to "catch up on sleep"? Well, did you? And then the next night, did you go back to your normal, uninterrupted sleep? Well? Well? Well? Ahem. Sorry, it's just that I haven't had a full night's sleep for 730 days. Just saying.
So what can prepare you for parenthood? The short answer is, nothing. No one can tell you how hard and how amazing it is going to be. So I am just telling my little bro to take all the opportunities he can to eat out, go to the movies and oh yes, sleep before December rolls around. Congratulations little bro !!!!
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