At my local shopping centre there is one of those shops that sells everything. You know, the ones that have $1 greeting cards, buddha statues, cane baskets in all sizes and every piece of homeware you will never need. Some of my favourite items in this shop include seriously gothic walking sticks with metal skulls on the top, and figurines of dragons wearing judo suits. Because apparently when you are a fire breathing dragon, you still might need to use martial arts - luckily they are black belts.
Out of all these weird and wonderful items that my family love to browse through, there is one that I have had to buy, replace and now need to replace again. It's supposed to be a stress ball, but one that is shaped like a boob. These boobs are both ridiculously inaccurate (perfect spheres, perfectly round nipples with evenly distributed lumps and bumps) and alarmingly accurate (when squeezed they swell and turn red in a perfect impression of mastitis). For some unfathomable reason, the kids love them.
When my husband first arrived home with one that the girls had chosen during a shopping trip I was unsure how to handle it. On the one hand, the girls see boobs all the time thanks to the very frequent breastfeeding that goes on in our house, so of course they don't see anything unusual about a stress ball in this shape. On the other hand, it's probably not a product that was designed with children under 5 in mind. Of course, I took the cowards way out and just tried to hide the damn thing whenever noone was looking.
This was working well, until our nieces (yes, all the cousins are girls too) came over to play, and the one year old took an enormous bite out of the boob. Red stuff went everywhere and my girls cried until I relented and agreed to replace the boob. Which I promptly hid again.
Then, 2 weeks ago, Miss Rose found my hiding place and spent the afternoon pretending to breastfeed from the boob. All good, until she realised it was funny to shake her head around like a dog with a chew toy while doing it and we had another boob explosion.
So now I have had to add a third fake boob to my shopping list for the week. I think if anything could put you off getting a boob job, this is probably it. Maybe I will buy my husband a walking stick with a skull on it while I'm there. His birthday is coming up, and he does keep pointing them out to me.
What weird things have your kids talked you into buying?
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