Tonight we dropped Mr MITB off for a night out at the local Leagues Club. As we pulled out of the carpark we drove past a police car.
Miss Jade: What are the police doing here Mummy?
Me: (silent, trying to merge)
Miss Jade: Mum ...Mum..... MUM!!
Me: What?!
Miss Jade: What. Are. The. Police. Doing. Here?
Me: Well darling sometimes the Police go to places like pubs and clubs to make sure everyone is behaving themselves.
Miss Jade: Why?
Me: Because sometimes when people drink too much beer they misbehave and do silly things and the police...
Miss Jade: I know! Like poking their tongues out!
Me: Yes darling, like poking their tongues out.
God she's cute. Not that I'm biased or anything. I wish she could stay this innocent forever.
Saturday 21 May 2011
Saturday 14 May 2011
Silver Linings
As my status as a Sagittarian suggests, I am something of an optimist. When I run into an obstacle I like to find the silver lining. Fortunately my life gives me plenty of opportunities to do this. So here are the silver linings I found this week.
* When I got my $500 electricity bill because it was less than half the price of the previous one.
* When Miss Rose pooed on the floor because it was a nice, solid easy one to pick up.
* When Miss Jade woke us up at 2am with the crying and itching that can only signal worms, because I knew I would be able to use this as a reason to miss pre-school and therefore the preschool run.
* When I had to wash every item of linen and blankie due to the above worm infestation because we got a new dryer last week and would not have to peg it all on the line.
* When my brother-in-law turned up unannounced and slightly tipsy (Rolling drunk) with his ex-girlfriend in tow at 10.30pm because at least I would have a conversation with a grown-up.
* When my husband woke me up at some ungodly hour to talk in his excited voice about the results of the F1 race because it was the first conversation we'd had in a week that wasn't conducted over the top of screaming children.
What were your silver lining moments of the week?
* When I got my $500 electricity bill because it was less than half the price of the previous one.
* When Miss Rose pooed on the floor because it was a nice, solid easy one to pick up.
* When Miss Jade woke us up at 2am with the crying and itching that can only signal worms, because I knew I would be able to use this as a reason to miss pre-school and therefore the preschool run.
* When I had to wash every item of linen and blankie due to the above worm infestation because we got a new dryer last week and would not have to peg it all on the line.
* When my brother-in-law turned up unannounced and slightly tipsy (Rolling drunk) with his ex-girlfriend in tow at 10.30pm because at least I would have a conversation with a grown-up.
* When my husband woke me up at some ungodly hour to talk in his excited voice about the results of the F1 race because it was the first conversation we'd had in a week that wasn't conducted over the top of screaming children.
What were your silver lining moments of the week?
Tuesday 10 May 2011
Settling a Screamer
Today Miss Grace, who is 4 months old , rolled over for the first time. This means I really can't call her a newborn anymore. I have now done that phase 3 times over.I remember when Miss Jade was a newborn feeling like this phase was stretching on forever and wondering how I would ever get through it. In honour of this milestone I wanted to share what I did with each of the girls when they were clenching their fists, arching their backs, going stiff and screaming their heads off.
Miss Jade:
Put her in the baby swing( this worked so well that it was very very tempting to leave her there all day).
Leaving her to cry for a little while. Miss Jade was a baby who got very stressed when overhandled. As painful as it was to hear the screaming, she was often asleep after 15 minutes.
Rocking, wrapping, patting and singing Old Macdonald 4000 times.
Miss Rose:
Breastfeeding, cuddling, co-sleeping.
Miss Grace:
Holding her but only while standing up. The second your bum hits that couch she knows about it.
Sometimes breastfeeding.
A little bit of a leg or tummy rub.
Notice how nothing worked for all of them, and there were some days where nothing worked at all. In fact the only real cure for the screaming was time. Eventually every crying episode stopped and they eventually all cried a lot less. I guess it's true what they say " This too shall pass". I wish I had that kind of perspective the first time around. Now That would be a really great present to give a new mum at her baby shower.
Miss Jade:
Put her in the baby swing( this worked so well that it was very very tempting to leave her there all day).
Leaving her to cry for a little while. Miss Jade was a baby who got very stressed when overhandled. As painful as it was to hear the screaming, she was often asleep after 15 minutes.
Rocking, wrapping, patting and singing Old Macdonald 4000 times.
Miss Rose:
Breastfeeding, cuddling, co-sleeping.
Miss Grace:
Holding her but only while standing up. The second your bum hits that couch she knows about it.
Sometimes breastfeeding.
A little bit of a leg or tummy rub.
Notice how nothing worked for all of them, and there were some days where nothing worked at all. In fact the only real cure for the screaming was time. Eventually every crying episode stopped and they eventually all cried a lot less. I guess it's true what they say " This too shall pass". I wish I had that kind of perspective the first time around. Now That would be a really great present to give a new mum at her baby shower.
Friday 6 May 2011
Fatherguilt
In my sometimes paid sometimes job I have noticed a phenomenon since I became a Mum.
As a corporate trainer one of the topics I facilitate is about internal dialogue (or your inner voice, self talk, or whatever the current catchphrase is.) One of the activities we ask people to do is share an activity that produces really positive internal dialogue for them, something they do well, or that gives them a sense of achievement. Eg Completing a run, playing a musical instrument well, etc.
One day I asked the standard question and a man in the room put up his hand and said “ I am a really great Dad”.
Had I heard correctly? For one thing, I had pegged this guy as a stoner. For another he was in a training room with me so therefore clearly not a stay-at-home Dad who has decided to shun tradition to homeschool his children, teach them five languages and lovingly make three organic meals a day for his offspring. Even more shocking , men in the room started to nod in agreement. What was this? And then it continued Every. Time. I. Ran. This. Course. All kinds of Dads - Married men, divorced men, men who quite frankly seemed to be surprised they had managed to make it to work at all – coming out in a public forum and saying they were great Dads.
And what really bothered me about this is that you would NEVER get women saying they were great Mums in this scenario. For one thing, they would be too busy worrying that the school lunches they had packed might have not enough fruit but too much yoghurt, and is this turning their children into sugar addicts? And have they ruined their kids chances on the social ladder by choosing the wrong birthday party to attend when there’s a calendar clash? And will little Bella be scarred for life by not being allowed to have a Bratz doll? And what will the other Mums say because they have missed canteen duty again this month? And.... oh, well you see where this is going.
Most of all though, Mums would not out themselves like this because it would open them up to judgement from other mothers. Other Mums would then be entitled to say, “She’s not a great mum, her 4 year old won’t even poo on the toilet” “She didn’t even breastfeed” “She works fulltime, she doesn’t even see her kids” “She doesn’t even work, what kind of example is that setting”, And on it goes.
So it dawned on me. These Dads weren’t judging each other. They thought they were great Dads because they loved their kids. They were showing up and giving it a go. They didn’t feel guilty because they were doing the best job they could. They didn't have fatherguilt.
We Mums could learn something from this, I’m sure. We could be less judgemental of other mums and so much less judgemental of ourselves. We are great Mums because we love our kids and we should be able to say it out loud.
Here’s hoping, I know I’m not quite there yet. I mean, I’m not even working at the moment and I’ve still got two kids in daycare today, and I’m writing a blog instead of enriching the baby’s cognitive experiences and.....
Thursday 5 May 2011
My Day Off
Today is Thursday. The day that is referred to in this household as ‘my day off’. I love my day off. On my day off I get up, feed, dress and pack up all the kids. I drop almost 2 year old Miss Rose at family daycare at 8.45, then 4 Year Old Miss Jade at preschool at 9am and take 3 month old Miss Grace with me to get the groceries. After that I race home, feed Miss Grace, unpack the shopping, and get to enjoy my indulgence of the week......
A lunch that someone else makes for me and a couple of precious hours to myself while Miss Grace naps.
It is absolute bliss, and so very very quiet. At least until 2pm when I start to miss the big girls so I race to start the dinner, sort out the washing and head off to collect Miss Jade and Miss Grace, unpack their bags and rush to give baths, dinner and get everyone off to bed so I can spend an hour or two with Dear Hubby where we get to complete a sentence and eat chocolate biscuits (although if I’m honest I usually fall asleep on the couch at this time and DH has to wake me up to remind me to go to bed or go to the crying baby).
Before I had kids, I would have needed a day off after a day like this....
Tuesday 3 May 2011
Myths Exposed! 4 Things That Do Not Prepare You For Parenthood
My little bro has just announced he's having a baby. Well, not him obviously, his partner I mean, and I am ridiculously excited. Not only because I am about to be an Auntie again, but also because of the fabulous opportunity it presents to start doling out unsolicited advice. So here's where I'm going to start. Although maybe this should be termed Anti-Advice. The six things that do not prepare you for parenthood, even though you probably thought they would. Catchy, isn't it?
1. Changing Nappies
For some unfathomable reason, the ability to change a nappy seems like the cornerstone of parenthood before you have children ie "I don't know how he'll go, he's NEVER EVEN changed a nappy." Look, let's face it, you will be changing a lot of nappies. It's a skill you have to have. But no matter how good you are at changing nappies before you have kids (BK), it's a task that will pale into insignificance compared to constant rocking, wrapping, patting and worrying that your child will grow up to have serious psychological issues because you fed them at the wrong time.
2. Babysitting
This includes all forms of working in childcare, having godchildren or much younger siblings you helped with. There is nothing like the overwhelming feeling of being completely and totally responsible for another human being. It's just not the same with kids that you get to hand back. A family friend of ours ran the baby room of a childcare centre and was sure she was ready for kids. When Mum visited her post-baby she answered the door in her pjs, breakfast dishes undone and baby screaming in the background. It was 3pm.
3. Pet Ownership
Look, at the risk of offending the owners of cats or small dogs, pets ARE NOT people. Pretty much the hardest work you will have to do with a pet is organize Someone else to look after them while you are on holidays. Not quite so easy with kids. For one thing, it's a bit more pressure on people to find a similar looking replacement child if they disappear while you are on your mini-break, so there are a lot less volunteers.
4. Staying Up All Night
"How bad can this sleep deprivation thing be?" you ask "i've stayed up all night before and it wasn't that bad." That may be true, but after that night did you sling your party shoes over your shoulder and skip merrily home to "catch up on sleep"? Well, did you? And then the next night, did you go back to your normal, uninterrupted sleep? Well? Well? Well? Ahem. Sorry, it's just that I haven't had a full night's sleep for 730 days. Just saying.
So what can prepare you for parenthood? The short answer is, nothing. No one can tell you how hard and how amazing it is going to be. So I am just telling my little bro to take all the opportunities he can to eat out, go to the movies and oh yes, sleep before December rolls around. Congratulations little bro !!!!
1. Changing Nappies
For some unfathomable reason, the ability to change a nappy seems like the cornerstone of parenthood before you have children ie "I don't know how he'll go, he's NEVER EVEN changed a nappy." Look, let's face it, you will be changing a lot of nappies. It's a skill you have to have. But no matter how good you are at changing nappies before you have kids (BK), it's a task that will pale into insignificance compared to constant rocking, wrapping, patting and worrying that your child will grow up to have serious psychological issues because you fed them at the wrong time.
2. Babysitting
This includes all forms of working in childcare, having godchildren or much younger siblings you helped with. There is nothing like the overwhelming feeling of being completely and totally responsible for another human being. It's just not the same with kids that you get to hand back. A family friend of ours ran the baby room of a childcare centre and was sure she was ready for kids. When Mum visited her post-baby she answered the door in her pjs, breakfast dishes undone and baby screaming in the background. It was 3pm.
3. Pet Ownership
Look, at the risk of offending the owners of cats or small dogs, pets ARE NOT people. Pretty much the hardest work you will have to do with a pet is organize Someone else to look after them while you are on holidays. Not quite so easy with kids. For one thing, it's a bit more pressure on people to find a similar looking replacement child if they disappear while you are on your mini-break, so there are a lot less volunteers.
4. Staying Up All Night
"How bad can this sleep deprivation thing be?" you ask "i've stayed up all night before and it wasn't that bad." That may be true, but after that night did you sling your party shoes over your shoulder and skip merrily home to "catch up on sleep"? Well, did you? And then the next night, did you go back to your normal, uninterrupted sleep? Well? Well? Well? Ahem. Sorry, it's just that I haven't had a full night's sleep for 730 days. Just saying.
So what can prepare you for parenthood? The short answer is, nothing. No one can tell you how hard and how amazing it is going to be. So I am just telling my little bro to take all the opportunities he can to eat out, go to the movies and oh yes, sleep before December rolls around. Congratulations little bro !!!!
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